Hey, the range of Burning Hands is actually not bad ! And I thought it only worked when they're already in your face chopping you.

What ? Mummies ? Ha ! I shoot them with my rocket launcher, even though I don't know how to use it. What do you mean, the hallway is only ten feet long ? You never told me that ! What do you mean, "shockwave" ?

LARP NPC: No one touches Von Strauss ! No one ! Hsssss !
LARP Newbie: Yeah, that's real scary, coming from a guy who wears eye-makeup.

GM: The force of the blow knocks you across the hall.
Player 1: I get up and scramble away into a room to avoid the attacker.
GM: Ok, roll dex plus athletics.
Player 1: What? I'm just getting up!
GM: Roll it.
Player 1: *rolls* *botches* What the-!
GM: You suck.

Player 1: How difficult is this spell?
GM: Well, considering that it's out of your league, an 8. Since you're under attack as well, I'd make it a 9.
Player 1: Oh. Ok, well I meditate to lower the difficulty?
GM: Meditate? You're being attacked!
Player 1: I know. If I don't do anything, they won't hurt me. I meditate for 3 turns to lower the difficulty to 6.

GM: You walk into the hotel bar looking for your contact. There's a crowd of people at the entrance, and small groups of people throughout the tables and several waiting at the bar.
Player 1 (Male): Are there any hot girls at the bar?
GM: *sigh* Yes, there is a pretty blonde at sitting in the middle seat on the bar.
Player 2 (Also Male): Why does it matter?
Player 1: Becuase I want to hit on her. Ok, [player 2] you be the girl...

Player 1: But I could have almost died!
Player 2:Aww. Roll to see if I care!
DM:*rolls*.
Player 2:*doesn't look at the dice* Oh look. I don't.
Player 1:* :( *.

GM: The commando, dressed in black, drops on you from above. But your accelerated neurons let you react. Time seems to slow down...
Player 1: Ok, I slide out from under him through the mud.
GM: What ? Roll for that.
Player 1: *rolls* Success.
GM: All right, you slide out on your back, and...
Player 1: My gun is still drawn, right ? I shoot him. Assault-rifle, burst fire. *rolls* Three hits, let's see, that's five bullets per hit...
GM: Argh ! He takes three critical wounds. He's dead.
Player 2: Doesn't he get to roll to stay alive ?
GM: No ! He's DEAD !
Player 1: Awww, but I wanted to interrogate him !

GM: That's a really dumb idea. Roll IQ so I can tell you exactly how dumb it is !
Player: *rolls* Success.
GM: IT'S REALLY DUMB !

Player 1: Ok, so they're hiding in the supply cart, and you're Obfuscating your way in with us, right ?
Player 2: *strikes a pose* Nay. I haff my ovn vays of gettink in.
Player 1: Yeah, you can turn into a bat.
Player 2: Uh, well, yeah.

GM: Ok, the door to the generator room is locked.
Player: I pull out my blaster and shoot it. Blam !
GM: Well, it is a megadamage door...
Player: *exhasperated sigh* Blam-Blam-Blam-Blam-Blam !
GM: ...It's open.

Player 1: So, is there an Improved Climb power of some sort, or isn't there ?
GM: I'm looking, I'm sure I saw it... Hmm, what's this ? Telekinesis ?
Player 2: What's that ?
GM: *reads* Hmm, let's see, it costs 4 points/level, says here it lets you move objects with your mind (duh).
Player 1: Huh. So, I have the standard 100 points, so let's say I get level 15, what can I do with that ?
GM: *reads* Lift 250 lbs, move it at 500 mph.
Player 2: *stunned silence*
Player 1: Screw improved climbing, I'm getting that.

(continued here)

Knowledge is only a third of the battle. Because you can know, and you can be prepared, but if it's stronger than you then you'll still die.